My Thorn

“I feel so inadequate,” this is where I’ve been the past few days and God is really dealing with me in this area. On one had the inadequacy I feel is a good thing. It reminds me that no matter how far I think I’ve come I will always need God’s mercy, grace, and love. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that will never change and I pray that I am never deceived to believe otherwise.  On the other hand the enemy is right there trying to move forward his own agenda that sounds something like this, “Yes, you are inadequate and God can’t use you on any greater level that He already has.”  This is not the case and a very deceptive tactic from the Father of Lies. You see if you are believer and trust God’s word then our inadequacies and insecurities have a two-fold meaning.  One, they remind us that we are completely incomplete without God. And two, they also call out to the human aspect of us where fear can come in and whenever fear is near a battle rages. The battle between fear and faith and each time this battle is waged only one can emerge victorious. The fuel for the battle to be fought and won for Faith; is God’s Word, the Bible. So then the absence of God’s word is the fuel for fear to win the battle. 

These feelings led me to God’s word and I was reminded of the Apostle Paul. I read through 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 this is very familiar portion of scripture where the Apostle Paul is talking about a “thorn in his flesh” that was put there to keep him humble. As I read this peace came over me and I felt God telling me that we all have “thorns” that are allowed to be in our lives. Some are temporary and some may not be so temporary. As I really began to think on this I was overwhelmed with the revelation that God gave and tears welled up and I found myself saying, “Father, thank you for my thorns! Thank you for these thorns of feelings of inadequacy. I know myself and I know that these thorns I have are meant to remind me of how much I need You. I never want be in a place where I feel I don’t need You. I know what my life was like before You and I never want to go back to that place; I need You so much and ask that you completely take over every aspect of my life as You see fit.”

So what does all this mean? Plainly put, we (Believers) want to please God and live a life that shows the world that God is powerful, but we are human and not perfect and will get off track from time to time. The key is getting back on track. I don’t know what triggered these feelings of inadequacy lately but I know it has pushed me to get alone more with God and get into His word more desperately looking for His comfort and His will. I know that through this God is working something out in me and I trust that He knows exactly what He’s doing. My part is just to stay in position and keep doing the possible and leave the impossible in His hands. 

Today you may be feeling exactly what I’ve described here and if so there is hope. It’s in your weakness that God’s strength is revealed. When these thoughts or feelings of inadequacy come in just try to remember we are all inadequate in the light of perfect and Sovereign God and all He wants is us, nothing more; nothing less. C.S. Lewis said, “God doesn’t want something from us, He simply wants us.”  When you are feeling that you don’t measure up just know that God is more than enough and He more than makes up for our short-comings.

Take Care & God Bless,

-E